Sleepless Nights
by JustSomeFandomGirl
Summary: Natasha and Steve can’t sleep, they both have their past to blame but that’s okay because sleepless nights are always easier with eachother.


Yet another dream about his past with Peggy had forced Steve out of his sleep, his eyes shot open, he stared blankly at the dark ceiling above him for a few moments before slowly pushing himself up into a sitting position, a small ache lingering in his chest. All he could think about was Peggy, her sweet smile, her British accent, what they could have been if he hadn't crashed into the water 70 years ago. The thoughts haunted him regularly because the worst part of all of this was that there was nothing he could do. Peggy was almost gone. Time was taking her slowly and all he could do was wait. Wait for the love of his life to be taken from him for good.

A frustrated sigh escaped Steves lips when his bare feet touched the ice-cold tiled flooring. This had become a regular nighttime routine now due to the dreams. His hand pushed down on the metal door handle, opening the door just enough so he could fit through it. His blue eyes adjusted easily to the corridor wrapped in darkness thanks to the serum in his body, Steve continued his late night journey towards the kitchen, making a mental note of the small sob that escaped Natasha's bedroom when he passed it.

He thought back to the first time he heard Nat crying, how he thought so strange of it because Natasha isn't one for emotions, and he hated himself instantly for even thinking that because even though she rarely let her emotions show she was still a human.

The water ran for a moment before Steve filled two clear glasses with it.

In the past six months, Steve had come to learn a lot about Natasha's heartbreaking past at the Red Room where she was constantly tortured and abused. She had been so young, no child deserved that sort of pain. The night was where she lowered her walls, it took her four months of sleepless nights for her to feel comfortable opening up to Steve and now she trusted him more than ever before but even then she still had her moments.

As the Star-Spangled balanced one of the full glasses between his chest and his arm so he could knock at her door he knew instantly that tonight was one of them nights. The only thing that filled the silence was the sound of her sniffling. He knocked at the door one last time but once again only her silent sniffles broke through the emptiness. Steve stood by the closed door, lost in thought, coming to the conclusion that she was going to do this all night and that he was going in whether she liked it or not.

Her room was much darker than his, much like her thoughts compared to his. In their nightly encounters Steve had witnessed Natasha work herself into multiple states, states that he had to promise would stay between them, but he was honoured that she was able to trust him, even if it was only a tiny bit.

Steve made his way over to Natasha, being careful not to trip on or spill anything along the way. Her small figure was easy to make out in amongst the dark room. She was curled into a tight ball, holding her knees against her chest. Steve placed the two glasses on her bedside table before taking a seat on the edge of her bed.

"You okay?" He knew she was far from okay so he cursed himself for even asking such a stupid question. Steve reached to turn the bedside lamp on just so he could get a better look at how bad the situation was tonight. Each time, the sight sent him into a shock. The light from the bulb reflected perfectly onto the rivers on her cheeks, her raw red eyes were squinting at the sudden brightness in the room, tears had formed in her eyes, daring to overspill onto her cheeks.

"Natasha..." Steve could barely form her name as he moved a damp piece of hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. Natasha slowly pushed herself up against the pillows, turning her head away in embarrassment when the tears finally leaked out onto her cheeks. Natasha thinks expression is a form of weakness but he had seen her crying multiple times, he had grown as used to the sight as he possibly could, he had been there to wipe her tears before and he'd do it a million times more if it meant making sure she was going to be okay.

He cupped her face with his hands that framed her face perfectly, wiping away at the droplets on her face with his thumbs.

"Do you want to talk about it tonight?" Steve handed her one of the full glasses, she accepted the drink before declining the offer to talk about what had been troubling her. Each night varied, sometimes she would talk, other times she wouldn't; that's when he knew it was bad. She drank the content of the glass without much hesitation giving it back to Steve when she had finished.

"Talking about it will help make you feel better." His hand moved to her back, rubbing it in circular motions.

"It was just a nightmare." The way she said it so casually like it was normal added to the pain he felt because what she had been through wasn't normal, no one deserved to go through the things she had been through, but this was her story, this was what made her so unique compared to all the other people.

"What happened in your nightmare?" His voice remained gentle, singing lullabies in her head. It was never easy to get her to communicate about her problems because she always pushed him away or she found a way around it.

"What are you doing up?" she retaliated. He let out a small sigh before pulling her small figure onto his lap.

"The usual." He held onto her torso tightly not giving her much time to protest against his actions. she flinched slightly, her body became tense due to the sudden gentle contact, something she'd hate to admit she loved deep down.

Steve pushed himself up against the collection of pillows at the top of Natasha's bed, twisting small chunks of her hair around his index finger. She buried her head into the crook of his neck, relaxing once again.

"You're okay." His one arm tightened around her waist and once he knew for sure she was asleep he placed a small kiss on her forehead. He couldn't bring it to himself to leave Natasha to go back to his own bed so he stayed. He reached his arm over the sleeping red-head on his chest being careful not to wake her so he could turn the lamp off.

The sky which was lightening as the time progressed but for once, the day could wait.

His 5 am run could wait. Steve rested his head on Natasha's and let sleep engulf him too.

Afterall, sleepless nights were always easier when they had each other.


End file.
